Reality check.

To everyone that claims to be destined to stay with their significant other forever; get over the cliche. Clearly, middle school to sophomore year brain washed all of us to think we'll have our "high school sweetheart" forever. Aye, i'm not saying its not possible cause some people stay true to their word, but lets get real. People change and apathy happens.

I'm kinda over being emo about shit, especially relationships. I'm just going with whatever happens now. No more planning, & no more un-needed "i love you's" or "i miss you's". You call me, i won't call you. You ask me if i want to see you. If we are together 5- to whatever years from now, then i was being a big ass hypocrite for typing this blog,


but i'll take my chances.


Apathy n. [ap-uh-thee]
1. absence or supression of passion, emotion, or excitement.
2. lack of concern for things of importance.

Thanks to you, my vocabulary is becoming bigger. Thank you.


Damn, that felt good :)

Ultimatum.

I was sitting in english class, listening to my teacher talk about the essay test we're going to take on monday. I asked what cynical meant, because it was in one of the questions on the practice test questions. She answers me, giving me the definition in her words,

"Cynical is a doubt in something. For example, being cynical about love. You have to experience something bad to become cynical about a certain thing."

I thought about what she said all day. So once i got home, i looked it up. And the definition says,

"Distrusting the motives of others."

Ive become cynical about relationships. I'm not mad. I wont get what i deserve and i'm accepting it. My forgiveness was taken advantage of way too many times. Denial is the last thing i'm in. I am insecure, i'm jealous, and i am attached. I like bein taken care of. I try my best. Ive perfected the skill of tryng, over & over again. And thats all i can really give you. Consideration, appreciation, admiration. I thought you'd prove me wrong the first time, but i got my hopes up. I'm vulnerable, but i'm not stupid. I know you try, i know you care, and i know you love me. Its time for me to strengthen my heart. Give you your space, and let you breathe finally. Days, months, years ive counted. But now i'm lookin at quality, not quantity. So i'm ready. Youre my bestfriend. I'm not mad at you. I never have been. All i really wanted was for you to treat me better, "even just a little bit".

This isnt a divorce, its just a seperation. Til you finally understand and appreciate me.

HAPPY+1

Kev & i didnt see eachother today, sadly. Stuff came up. But we'll make up for it on valentine's day! Hopefuly, hahaha. Happy 27th kev! Anyways, didnt do anything today, slept practically the whole day, but whatever. Warriors won, 117-120. Oh did i mention, my dad met MATT fcking BARNES today & shook his hand? Fuck. That should've been me!

No school.

Weekend started off great. Got out early friday, chilled with kev on saturday, and it was a pretty day to go out driving today. Played wii + guitar hero practically the whole weekend. Beat kev in every WiiSport game we played. Bowling, baseball, etc. Hahaha.

No school tomorrow due to President's Day, hell yeah.
+ Tomorrow is our 2 years + 3 months = 27 months hoes :)

Expect new "duo" picture(s) tomorrow on my myspace!

Cold feet.

Today was my first day back to school since friday of last week. Still sick. Ive been living off of kleenex, nyquil, & kid cuisine for the past 2 weeks! Damn. Tons of chem hw, which sucks. I dont get half the things in that class. But whatever. Getting out early on friday (1215PM) + no school monday. Hell yeah. The weekend is lookin real nice. I have to think of a valentine's present for my valentine fast! Cant wait.

Sexy can i?

Been sick alllll week. Coughing, sneezing, headaches, body-aches, runny nose, you name it; i have it. I think i have the flu or something, but i dont have a fever so? Whatever!

Anyways, i schooled it allll week. Nothing big happened. So saturday! Went out on a date with kev. The first date in so long. We went out to union city in the cold/rainy weather. Ate dinner at fresh choice, helllllla full afterwards. After we went to blockbuster, rented halloween & bought some caandy for me :) Came home, chilled, took pictures, watched the movie then kev had to go to work at 8PM-12AM. Nothing really happened sunday, i did hw, thats about it. I got school tomorrow. Night!

Mhmm.

Finally found out how to work this thing. It'll replace my xanga, fsho. I kinda figured xanga was hellllllllla out-dated. Hahahaha. And this one loads faster, so whatevs. Blogging will begin this weekend; after chem/english hw, chillen, & shopping. I won't blog everyday. K, bye!

BTW, i will be adding pictures on here sometimes.